Do not tolerate disrespect from anyone, in any form.

I am not always confrontational, I was someone who got lost in understanding and end up losing themselves tolerating someone’s disrespect. But I take a stand now, I said what I said- I did what I did, and I stand on that. Not to prove a point but to prove I have boundaries I won’t allow anyone to cross. This use to be super difficult to attempt for me, setting boundaries felt like I was ignoring the other persons perspective but sometimes a persons perspective is like a mirror- they only see themselves. Being a very considerate, empathetic and a person, who was taught basic manners and decency, boundaries felt like I was ruining my connection to a person. But I wasn’t, I was respecting myself; making sure I knew I didn’t have to tolerate what made me feel uncomfortable. Setting boundaries can be hard when you are scared how you’ll be perceived. You wonder what comments they make about you when they remember the time you set that boundary or if you no longer are perceived as a good person. Let me tell you this, how someone perceives you is not your job. It’s your responsibility to advocate for yourself. Don’t ask “did I say too much?” Or did I look bad” or “will they not like me- will they hate me?” Understand the intentions behind what you said and how you felt, “I stood by me, if they do not listen or become disrespectful it’s because it’s proof of their entitlement.” I once felt worried that if I set a boundary and a persons perspective of me turns to that of me being rude annoying, disrespectful, that I should regret sticking up for myself. Until I realized they were projecting who they really are; disrespectful, entitled, annoying people who cannot grasp the concept of reciprocated kindness. That is not my job to teach them that; boundaries are an act of kindness for yourself. I know who am and I know my intentions, I will never regret again choosing myself.

Always stand beside you, if it feels like injustice to your being, speak up because you are the only one that can.

Don’t get lost in your own empathy that you misunderstand someone’s apathy.

This is to my highly sensitive people who struggle with boundaries- be empathetic to yourself first. When you are an over thinker who is overly kind, you always find yourself being aware of the other person, always seeing from their perspective but for once choose to hear your side. Look through your perspective- understand why you did what you did. If you done something wrong you’ll see it, but if what you did was about protecting you then never understand the other person. Would tell a person to say sorry to their attacker? No, you’d tell that person to leave them in the dust to protect themselves and get help. Protect yourself, get help if you need it. You cannot be an overly kind and understanding person with no boundaries. Boundaries are being empathetic to yourself; you come first. I got lost with my understanding of boundaries, but now I know I can be kind to myself using them. I was such an over thinker that I believed perceiving myself as a kind person was wrong but then I realized that it was just me pretending not to know who I was. I was acting confused when I looked at person in the mirror, but I always knew who I was looking at, I was looking at me. The same me who cries for others, who gets angry on the behalf of others, I am the person that loves being kind. Now I love my boundaries first and my kindness comes after, boundaries are like a shield so I can be kind with protection.

A soldier doesn’t go into a new territory without his weapon, don’t go anywhere without yours. Boundaries are your protection.